How to Create More Time and Energy – Organize!

January 19, 2009 By Pamela Bruner

If you’re serious about transforming your success level this year, one of the best gifts that you can give yourself is more time and energy. You achieve this through creating organizational systems. If you tend to spend most of your work time putting out fires, or dealing with the ‘crisis of the moment’, it’s almost impossible to implement any long-term projects to improve and grow your business. Or perhaps you plan, but your ideas are captured on the back of envelopes and sticky notes, and are never collected in an organized manner.

Check your O.Q. (Organizational Quotient)

1) Do I have a business plan, and how often do I refer to it?
2) Do I consult my calendar daily?
3) Are all my appointments on my calendar?
4) Is my filing system easy to use?
5) Is my email in-box emptied at least once a day?
6) Do I have clear-cut goals for 2009?
7) Do I have an action plan, with dates, to get there?
8) Do I always have the information that I need (phone numbers, action lists, etc.)?
9) Do I have a set time every week for planning my week?
10) Am I always working on the top priority, and making the best use of my time?
11) Do I delegate tasks that don’t require my expertise?

If you answered ‘no’ to any of these questions, you’ve got a terrific opportunity! These questions all deal with organization, and systems. Not everyone is equally comfortable with organization, but the more organized you become, the easier it is to run your business.

Here’s one small tip to start your organization:

Keep a file or drawer marked ‘Errands’.

Do you find yourself running out to get things at the office supply store or supermarket, even if you were just there yesterday? An ‘ERRANDS’ file can help. Any time that you realize that you need something, write it on a slip of paper and put it in your errands file. Then check the file each time you leave your home, or office. You’ll streamline your errands, and be much less likely to have to make a special trip. You’ll also free up some mental space, because you won’t constantly be trying to remember ‘Now, what was that thing that I needed to get?’

Try this simple tip, and see how much easier your life can be!
more on organization in the next issue…

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Sing Your Blues Away

January 8, 2009 By Pamela Bruner

Women have used the power of song throughout history, to tell stories, to heal grief, and to make chores more pleasant. Children also know the power of music, which is why so many schoolyard taunts are sung or chanted. Anyone can use the power of music to lift their spirits. You don’t need to be a musician or singer to use music in a powerful, healing way.

Affirmations have been around for decades, but can be ineffective if you have a critical voice in your head that argues with your affirmation. You need to find a way to bypass the critical voice. Music will do that. I recommend setting simple affirmations to music, and singing them repeatedly. We’ve all had songs from our past get stuck in our heads for days. What if the song that gets stuck in your head is your affirmation?

For example, a simple affirmation such as

I am wealthy

or

I am healthy

can be sung to the tune of Frere Jacques. I would sing

I am healthy, I am healthy, Yes I am, Yes I am!

Another example would be

I am strong and empowered, every day!

sung to the opening line of (Somewhere) Over the Rainbow. Once you begin singing affirmations, the words go directly into your subconscious.

Begin by creating a simple affirmation, and then try singing the words to a familiar tune. If the words don’t fit, try another tune until you find one that works. You can also make up a tune if you prefer. When you’re singing short affirmations, you can add the words

all the time or yes I am

to fill out a line of music.

Adding music to your affirmations makes them powerful so you want to be sure that you word them in an effective way. Affirmations work best if they are in present tense, positive, and personal. For example, sing

I am successful

instead of

I will be successful

and

I am courageous

rather than

I am not scared

and

I feel loved

rather than

John loves me

Be adventurous when you choose your words, and claim who you are. When you sing an affirmation, you may find it comfortable to make a bolder statement than you would make if you were speaking.

Anyone can harness the power of music to instill positive feelings and thoughts. Once you begin singing, your spirits lift, you feel more joyful, and challenges seem much more manageable.

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Happy New Year!

January 8, 2009 By Pamela Bruner

Resolutions, set some goals, make some plans. But will 2009 mark a change in your success level? Or will it be some good intentions, but actually business as usual?

Here’s how to make the most out of 2009:

Set aside some quiet time to think about what you really want for your life, and your business. Schedule this time on your calendar, turn off the phone, and write down your dreams, desires, and goals. It may help to ask the following questions:

  • What’s my overall vision for my business in 2009?
  • How much money do I want to make?
  • How do I want to serve my clients?
  • What do I want to do differently this year?
  • What new actions will I take to build my business?

All these lead up to the question – What goals do I wish to accomplish this year?

For each goal, identify these 4 pieces:

1) Why – why is this goal important to my success?
1) Action Steps – the actions that it will take to complete it
2) Dates – when those actions will happen
3) Person – who will do them (you, or an assistant?)

Now here’s the important part: get out a calendar, and mark each action step, and your goal completion date in big letters.

Now you have a plan for your success!

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What’s the Stuff in Your Closet Costing You?

January 8, 2009 By Pamela Bruner

I met a woman the other day, when I was at an art fair. I was exhibiting the hand-crafted harps that my husband builds, and she stopped to admire them. I said ‘Why don’t you give them a strum?’ and showed her how to run one finger down the strings.

‘I can’t!’ she said, with an edge to her voice that made me take notice. I asked if she was OK, and she said that her father had played piano, and that she had tried to learn piano as well, but that she had never been good enough in his eyes. ‘I really love music’ she said wistfully, ‘but I don’t play now.’

I gave her my card, and asked her to call me. I don’t know if she will or not. But it’s a tragedy to me that she is blocked from doing something she loves by some ‘stuff in her closet’ – some old baggage that was put there by someone else, years ago. She just doesn’t know how to clear it out.

At least she knows what’s stopping her…

I worked with another woman who is successful in her field, and had worked to get some new credentials that would allow her to expand her duties at work. The only thing that stood in the way of her receiving these credentials was to write two letters to a credentialing board. Somehow, though, the letters hadn’t gotten written for several months. ‘Something else always comes up,’ she said. ‘I don’t know why I haven’t written them.’

We did some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and she exclaimed suddenly ‘Oh my gosh! When I was growing up, I was always told “Women aren’t meant to be educated”. I don’t believe that, but I think that it stuck in my subconscious somewhere.’ After we did EFT on that, she reported feeling very motivated to write the letters. They were written less than a week later.

What’s the Stuff in Your Closet Costing You?

Sometimes we know about our blocks. Some we complain about, some we blame on other people, and some we aren’t even aware of! But they all stop us, or slow us down, or make us feel like some part of our lives is a struggle, a huge hassle, a big effort. And it could be easy.

So if you’re feeling stopped, or maybe just feeling that moving in the direction of your goals and dreams is like wading through molasses, consider that it’s time to clear out your closet! If you’re not sure how, call me. I can help.

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EFT for Caregivers

October 23, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

A couple of months ago, I was an exhibitor at the Upstate Women’s Show in Greenville, SC. I talked to people about life coaching and EFT, Musical Soul Portraits, and my harp CDs. I was amazed at the number of women who are actively in the caregiver role. Women tend to be caregivers of our children and spouses. In addition, more and more women are caring for older parents, siblings, or are employed in the ever-growing caregiver industry as our population ages. While this work can be rewarding, it also has a high level of stress and burn-out.

Practicing good self-care is a great way to reduce stress, prevent burn-out, and ultimately better support those we care for. Here are some tips for caregivers, and an EFT tapping routine to help.

Tips for caregivers:

1) Take time each day just for yourself, even if it’s 15 minutes (an hour is better!) Use this time for a nurturing activity, such as walking in nature, meditating, taking a bubble bath, or listening to music.

2) Ask for support from others – don’t think that you have to do it all yourself.

3) Give your body nutritious food. It’s much more nurturing than junk food!

4) Remember to get adequate rest. Stress, anger, and other negative emotions are much more powerful when you’re tired.

5) Use EFT on the resistance to self-care, and other negative emotions or disempowering beliefs.

Tapping Tip for Caregivers:

(For a complete explanation of the EFT procedure, download the EFT basics guide on my What is EFT? page. A more thorough description of the Choices method is also in my blog.)

Setup:

Even though I don’t feel that I can take time for myself, I choose to know that great self-care serves me and the world better. Even though I resent that I have to take care of _____, I choose to accept myself and my feelings.

Even though this seems so hard sometimes, I choose to allow myself to find a way to make it easier.

Reminder phrases:

I can’t take time for myself
This is so hard
I resent that I have to do this
I don’t have any time to myself
It’s not right to care for myself when I have to care for ____
I’m angry that I have to do this
This feels so hard
I don’t have any time for myself

I choose to know that great self-care is better for me and the
people I care for

I choose to accept myself and my feelings
I choose to accept help from others
I choose to find surprising new ways to make it easier
I choose to accept myself and my feelings
I choose to take time for myself
I choose to find time to take care of myself
I choose to love myself first

Happy tapping!

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Not Enough Time?

October 23, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

The world seems so busy right now, many people feel that they don’t have enough time. This leads to increased stress, compounding the problem! Here are some suggestions for dealing with the ‘not enough time’ syndrome.

1) Take deep breaths regularly – this brings you back to your body, and can interrupt frantic, unproductive thoughts.

2) Relax – do just one thing at a time, not three. The increased focus may make you more productive, not less.

3) Remind yourself that a lot on the ‘to do’ list doesn’t make you busy, trying to do too much at once does.

If these suggestions bring up resistance, or you feel that you can’t do them, try the following:

Tapping Tip for ‘Not Enough Time’

(For a complete explanation of the EFT procedure, download the EFT basics guide on my What is EFT? page.

It may be helpful to tap first on any upset, anger or other uncomfortable feeling. Once that is down to zero, then do the following:

(Setup – tap the Karate Chop point)

Even though I feel that I don’t have enough time, I choose to accept myself and my feelings.

Even though I feel overwhelmed by all that I have to do, I choose to accept myself, and to consider enjoying my day.

Even though I feel that I’ll never get everything done, I choose to forgive myself, accept myself as I am now, and I choose that it’s OK to do one thing at a time.

Reminder phrases for the tapping points:

I don’t have enough time
There is too much to do
I can’t get it all done
I should be more efficient
There is so much to do
I feel overwhelmed
I don’t have enough time
I’ll never get everything done

I choose to remember that I have 24 hours in a day
I choose to consider relaxing and focusing on just the task at hand
I choose to forgive myself for not having it all done
I choose to love myself, just as I am
I’m open to the Universe creating more time for me
I’m open to enjoying each thing that I need to do
I choose to proceed in an efficient, unhurried manner
I choose to enjoy every moment of my time

Happy tapping!

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Enlightenment – Who Needs It?

October 23, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

With so many people watching the Oprah and Eckert Tolle presentation, ‘A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose’, I’m hearing a lot from my clients about Enlightenment. Enlightenment is the new goal, the new crowning achievement, the new Mercedes in the driveway.

The conversations have gone something like this: “I was in this situation, and I felt uncomfortable and upset. But if I was Enlightened, I should have been able to handle it!” (Never mind that the situation might have made the imperturbable Buddha flinch.)

So what is Enlightenment? Is it the ability to sail through life with a smile on your face, always unruffled, always radiating love and joy, impervious to the ups and downs of daily life?

If so, I’m not there.

I’m much closer than I was ten years ago, or even one year ago. But I still get upset, occasionally get angry, and sometimes forget that I’m committed to expressing beauty, joy, love, peace, power, wisdom, light and abundance. And I’m in good company. It’s said that Jesus got angry at the moneylenders, and in an interview published a while back Mother Teresa confessed to doubts about her faith.

Perhaps Enlightenment isn’t a destination. Perhaps it’s a pathway. Sometimes we may wander off the path, and then we find it again, and stay on it for as long as we can. I do know one thing – if you’re struggling and striving for Enlightenment, you won’t get there.

In order to check your map, and see if you’re on the path, I’ll propose three questions.

How many times today did I come from love, not judgment?

How many times today did I honor and acknowledge my feelings, and those of others, without being controlled by them?

What would I choose to do differently next time?

For the first two questions: Whether you answered zero, or every time, congratulate yourself. Because you noticed.

Just noticing where you are, and answering question three, means you’re on the path. (Remember to answer question number three with love, not judgment!)

So if you haven’t yet achieved a state of blissful indifference, be gentle with yourself. And consider that if you’re observing, learning, and choosing your actions consciously, you’re on the path.

Tapping Tip for ‘Shoulds’ about Enlightenment: This assumes that you have some familiarity with EFT. If it is new to you, please download and read the EFT basics document from my website before proceeding.

It may be helpful to tap first on the upset, anger or other uncomfortable feeling. Once that is down to zero, then do the following:

(Setup – tap the Karate Chop point)

Even though I think that I should be able to handle things without
getting upset, I choose to accept myself and my feelings.
Even though I think I should be Enlightened by now, I choose to
accept myself, and enjoy my path of growth.
Even though I think that I should be able to handle things better,
I choose to forgive myself, and accept myself as I am now.

Reminder phrases for the tapping points:
I should be able to handle things better
I’ve done so much work
Why can’t I handle this better?
Why can’t I just come from love?
My feelings aren’t what I want them to be
I should be Enlightened by now
This shouldn’t bother me

What if I’m OK as I am?
What if I could start by offering love to myself?
I choose to love myself and my feelings
I choose to accept myself as I am
I choose to feel my feelings, and not be controlled by them
I choose to accept my feelings
I choose to love and accept myself now

Enlightenment is a journey, not a destination – enjoy the trip!

Filed Under: EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques Tagged With: ,

Remembering to use EFT

October 23, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

Tapping Tip:

EFT can be one of your most powerful tools, IF you remember to use it. I hear from clients all the time that they forgot to use EFT in the midst of an upset, an angry moment, or a difficult decision.

NOTE: These suggestions assume that you have a familiarity with EFT. If you don’t, please download and read the document ‘EFT Basics’ available on my ‘What is EFT?’ page.

Here are my suggestions to help you create empowering habits:

1) When upset strikes, get in the habit of immediately removing yourself to a quiet, private spot, if you are in your own home. Bathrooms are wonderful for this, wherever you may be – even at work. If someone annoys you, if you receive an upsetting email or phone call, or your attitude could use a serious upward adjustment – just go. Don’t think about it, don’t wonder if this is one of the times that you should go, just go.

2) As soon as you are alone, tap the KC point and say “Even though I am SO upset about this, I choose to accept myself.” Say this two more times, while tapping all the time. If you’re in a public restroom and feel that you can’t speak aloud, shout this in your head.

3) If you wish to be more specific with the words, you can change them. For example:


Even though she was so rude to me…
Even though my boss is asking me to do the impossible…
Even though my husband doesn’t listen to me…

4) Tap through all the points, repeating the reminder phrase

‘So upset!’
‘So rude to me!’
‘Do the impossible!’
‘Doesn’t listen!’

Remember if you’re saying this inside your head instead of aloud, yell it to yourself.

5) At the end of a round, take a deep breathe and see how you feel. If you’re not completely calm, repeat step 2 (the setup) with this change:

“Even though I’m still upset about this, I could choose calm now.”

6) Do one complete tapping round of ‘Still upset’ (all the points) and then do one complete tapping round with the phrase ‘I could choose calm’.

7) Repeat steps 5 and 6 until you’re feeling calm!

The more times that you remember to use tapping in the moment, the easier it will become, and the more rewarding. If I get annoyed at my husband, which doesn’t happen very often, I immediately say to him ‘Excuse me’ and go into another room and tap. At first he thought it was strange, but now he loves it, because I come out calm and ready to talk reasonably about the issue.

I also suggest that until this becomes a habit, you tap every morning with the setup

Even though I’m afraid that I’ll forget to use EFT when I need it, I choose to easily remember!

The tap one complete round with the reminder phrase ‘I’ll forget EFT’ and one complete round with the reminder phrase ‘I choose to easily remember!’

Use these suggestions, and in a very short time you’ll find it much easier to release upset and anger. This is not to say that your anger or upset may not be justified, but you’re always more powerful from a place of calm. And powerful and effective is something that we can all use!

Happy Tapping!

A Chance to Talk Back:
What are you concerned about now? What big issues would you like support with? I know that I sometimes read newsletters, and think that the person writing isn’t really talking to me, that they don’t know my life.

I’ll be happy to address your specific concerns (and I won’t say they came from you) in an upcoming tapping tips article, or consider a teleclass on your favorite subject. Email me today, and let me know how I can make this even more relevant to your life!

Book Recommendation:

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho
This marvelous book tells the story of a shepherd boy who goes in search of his ‘Personal Legend’ and all that he learns along the way. The prose has the easy grace of poetry, and some of the most powerful truths written in memorable and moving ways. A must-read!

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EFT/The Law of Attraction/Affirmations

January 5, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

In the field of life coaching, there are as many different approaches as there are coaches. Despite the differences, almost all coaches use some form of affirmations, for themselves and for their clients. Affirmations, which are positive statements used to re-train the conscious or subconscious mind, have been a mainstay of personal growth work for decades. And they can often be effective, allowing us to re-language our thoughts, and so, our world.

There can be problems with affirmations, however. One is the ‘tail-ender’ problem – it’s the sarcastic little voice inside your head that adds a comment after you’ve said your affirmation. For example, if you say
‘I am always attracting abundant wealth’
the little voice may add
‘Yeah, right, in your dreams!’

This tail-ender, in effect, becomes your affirmation, rather than that wonderful positive statement that you were trying to instill.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is great for dealing with tail-enders. You simply turn the tail-ender into an EFT setup statement. (For more information on the structure of EFT, see the earlier letter EFT/Emotional Freedom Technique, or my What is EFT? page.) So in this example, your setup statement might be: ‘Even though I don’t think I can attract abundant wealth, I deeply and completely accept myself’. Or ‘Even though I think that abundant wealth is just a unrealistic dream, I deeply and completely accept myself.’

In the EFT basic formula, you would repeat this three times, while rubbing the sore spot or tapping the KC (karate chop) point. Then proceed through the tapping routine, with reminder phrases of ‘can’t attract wealth’ or ‘unrealistic wealth dream’. At the end of each tapping routine (after tapping on all the points while saying the reminder phrase), try saying the affirmation again. See if you still ‘hear’ the tail-ender. Has it changed? Is it not as loud now? Or do you feel a deep, complete sense of peace and truth as you say the affirmation?

If your affirmation doesn’t feel like complete truth yet, do another round of tapping.

You may need to change your setup phrase, in response to your ‘tail-ender’ changing. Be aware of thoughts that pop into your head. Continuing the example above, some new thoughts might be

‘I can make enough to get by, but I’ll never be rich’
‘I don’t want to be greedy’
‘I’ll have to work too hard to make that much money’
‘Nothing good ever happens to me’

Here are possible setup statements for each of these new thoughts. These statements use the Choices method (for more information, see the previous letter EFT with the Choices method).

‘I can make enough to get by, but I’ll never be rich’

Becomes

‘Even though I don’t think I can ever be rich, I choose to allow money to flow into my life now’

‘I don’t want to be greedy’

Becomes

‘Even though I’m afraid that it’s greedy to want money, I choose to know that I will manage my money generously and wisely’

‘I’ll have to work too hard to make that much money’

Becomes

‘Even though I believe I’ll have to work too hard if I want to be rich, I choose to consider that I can be wealthy while having fun working moderately!’

‘Nothing good ever happens to me’

Becomes

‘Even though nothing good ever happens to me, I choose to allow good into my life now’

This last kind of tail-ender indicates a global belief that may need more specific follow-up. When a global belief like this (an ‘always’ or a ‘never’) appears, sometimes a few rounds of tapping will reverse this feeling, and have you noticing how many good things do actually come into your life. This process can be subtle, so look carefully for it! EFT works best on specifics, though, so you may want to take specific events in your life in work on them individually. If you need help, call me!

Now that you’ve had some examples, pull out those old affirmations and dust them off, or write some new ones, and see how quickly you can attract what you desire in your life!

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EFT with the Choices Method

January 5, 2008 By Pamela Bruner

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a powerful tool for working through your life’s blocks quickly. And it’s easy for most people to use. There is an art to EFT, though, that can dramatically increase its effectiveness – using EFT with the Choices method is one element of that art.

In a regular EFT setup phrase, the structure is

Even though I have (this problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.

The EFT with Choices method changes the second half of that statement to a specifically worded affirmation beginning with ‘I choose’. Here’s why:

For some people, the phrase I deeply and completely accept myself is problematic – they don’t feel authentic when they say it, which interferes with the treatment.

Also, in some situations, a more specific positive affirmation might be more useful:

Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I choose to feel calm and confident when speaking in front of groups.

Notice that the Choices statement ‘I choose to feel calm and confident ‘ is different from a traditional affirmation ‘I am calm and confident ‘. This is effective in two ways.

One, the traditional affirmation states ‘I am’ in a way that can raise objections in the conscious mind, such as ‘No, I’m not!’ Instead, saying ‘I choose’ can bypass this objection.

Two, the act of choosing is a powerful act, and in the words of Pat Carrington, the creator of the Choices method: ‘The person making a choice is exercising their will, deciding on and committing to a course of action. I have found that this freely entered into commitment can have a powerful influence on the desired result, often making it more likely to be obtained. ‘

Using the Choices Method

After creating the setup statement, the acupoints are tapped while a ‘reminder phrase’ is repeated. (For more information, please see my What is EFT? Page, and the ‘EFT Basics’ document.) In regular EFT, the reminder phrase relates to the ‘problem’.

Reminder phrases might include ‘this headache’, ‘this fear of public speaking’, ‘this craving for chocolate’, etc.

With the Choices method, two rounds of tapping are completed, one with the negative reminder phrase, and another with a positive reminder phrase based on the Choice statement.

For example:
Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I choose to feel calm and confident when speaking in front of groups.

One round of tapping, with the reminder phrase

Fear of public speaking
A second round of tapping, with the reminder phrase
I choose to feel calm and confident in front of groups

The negative trigger (this problem) becomes linked to the positive choice, emotionally and energetically. When the ‘trigger’ occurs (for example, thinking of giving a speech), the Choice also is triggered (a calm, confident feeling).

This powerful association can help quickly retrain emotions, habits, and attitudes – even ones that have been around for years!

The wonderful thing about EFT is that you can do this yourself! If you need help getting started, call me. After having a session with an EFT life coach, you’ll have experience tapping in a way that will truly empower you!

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